Love One Another
Looking at Adam and Eve (Genesis 3), their relationship defines how our relationships are now. When we are first introduced to them, they have no concept of self. They live solely for God, to glorify God. When they are tempted and eat from the tree, three consequences occur.
- Identity: Adam and Eve look to their knowledge and understanding. They look inward instead of outward.
- Relationships with others: blaming, making excuses (to one another), and valuing based on human roles rather than identity through God.
- Relationship/Fellowship with God: hiding, making excuses (to God), and casting out of the garden (severance of fellowship with God/separation)
In Matthew 22: 37-39, Jesus replies, “You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.”
The ideal relationship order here is God, others, and the Self. But when Adam and Eve sinned, the predisposed order of these relationships changed. Their tendency became self, others, and then God. Humans still wrestle with this today.[1]
Love plays a significant role in our relationship with others and God. It is the foundation for everything else: overcoming our selfish tendencies and placing God and others above ourselves. Understanding this, I believe, is the key to edification and encouragement. Combining these two creates spiritual friendships or mentorships.
How do we Edify?
When we look at the definitions of Edification and Encouragement, one is instructional, while the other is action-oriented. Edification is defined as the instruction or improvement of a person morally or intellectually. The Bible is our instruction manual.
When we are edifying, we need to ensure that what we say is grounded in Biblical principles. Considering the style in which a passage was written, its historical relevance, and the circumstance surrounding it is beneficial to deepening our understanding of God’s word. Also, we need to look at our motives. Are we giving instructions out of love? (1 Cor 16:14)
Edification isn’t only an intellectual endeavor but also a moral one. Paul said in 1 Corinthians 5:12, “What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside?” Admonishing is for believers, not for those who do not believe. Christians are called to hold each other accountable.
Col 3:15-17, “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”
Sometimes we need correction, and another believer needs to admonish another believer, but we must do it with love and discernment. When we admonish with the wrong intentions, such as pride, wrath, resentment, envy, or other negative aims, the intention is to harm, shame, or self-righteously judge a fellow Christian.
Both of these elements, teaching and holding accountable, are essential. They cannot function without one another. Our understanding of the Bible is critical before we can seek to keep our fellow Christians accountable. When the Scripture is taken out of context, we can have a backward effect on someone. Instead of walking alongside them and building community, we could push them away.
Before admonishing someone, consider this list of questions from Compelling Truth in their article, “When is it necessary to rebuke another believer?” [2]
- Do I struggle with the same type of sin? (Romans 2:1)
- What is my motivation for this rebuke? Is it love? Am I seeking restoration? (Galatians 6:1)
- Am I personally close enough with this person to speak into his life? (Galatians 6:2)
- How would I respond if someone else rebuked me in this way? (Matthew 7:12)
- Am I prepared to explain how this issue is a sin and show it in the Scripture? (2 Timothy 2:15)
- If my friend doesn’t receive my rebuke, am I ready to take this issue to my spiritual leaders? (Matthew 18:15–17)
- Am I committed and prepared to walk with my friend during restoration? (Matthew 26:41; James 5:19–20)
[1] Ginger Harrington, Holy in the Moment: Simple Ways to Love God and Enjoy Your Life, (Nashville, TN. The United Methodist Publishing House: 2018), 169
[2] https://www.compellingtruth.org/rebuke-believer.html